Source: Erika Goldring / Getty
Bladder leaks, amirite? All it takes is a hardy chuckle, harsh sneeze, or your mere existence for your underwear lining to gradually grow damp. It’s an embarrassing occurrence that most don’t like to admit, but truth be told, urinary incontinence is quite common. According to ClevelandClinic.org, “Urinary incontinence is a loss of bladder control that’s commonly seen in older adults and women who have given birth or gone through menopause. Urinary tract infections (UTIs), pelvic floor disorders and an enlarged prostate are other causes.”
Chances are if you’ve had a child, hit your 40s, or are in the perimenopause – menopausal phase, you’ve dealt with bladder leakage a time or 20. And while many are embarrassed by the thought of urine slips, Emmy Award-winning actress and NY Times best-selling author Tabitha Brown is using her platform to eliminate the stigma behind it. “The first time it ever happened to me was a sneeze, and I was like, wait, what just happened?” she tells me in an exclusive interview with HelloBeautiful.
Tabitha Brown Is Removing The Stigma Against Bladder Leaks
“Listen, it’s even worse after the children. That’s when mine started, in my thirties after I had my son. But the forties your body is like, you on your own girl. We are all trying to do the best we can,” she says with a chuckle.
Before conducting this interview, I had to evaluate if I was ready to admit that I, too, struggled with bladder leaks. I will turn 41 this year, and I’ve noticed a drastic change in my body since then. Beyond the frequent trips to the bathroom are the excessive sweating and annoying bladder leaks that cause me to always pack a pantyliner in my bag, just to be safe. These are the things they don’t tell you about growing older, but Brown is stepping up to the plate and using her platform to educate women who struggle with bladder leaks and let them know that this is a normal part of the aging process.
“The solution, first and foremost, is to start the conversation so that more women are talking about it, don’t feel alone in it, and know that we have options,” she tells me. “Always Discreet has two options. If you want to wear the full brief—I don’t know if that’s your comfort level—but they have that option. My comfort level is the pad. You know how we sometimes get a pantyliner? But this is a little bit thicker, and it doesn’t leak. It’s comfortable. There’s no weird feeling or odor,” she says.
“And now, if I have a cold and get a coughing attack. You know you’re going to pee on yourself. I’m not worried about it if I have this on. From working out, going to the gym, doing things I used to not be able to do without having the bladder leak, like running or doing squats with weights, and all of that. Now we have an option, and we don’t have to worry about it. We don’t have to have that fear in the back of our heads. ‘Oh wait, what if I peel myself? What if I tinkle, oh Lord.'”
Admittedly, bladder leaks sometimes dictate how I show up in the world. There’s so much to consider when you know a bout of laughter might result in sappy drawers. Everyday occurrences are clouded by the fear of potential accidents, and ain’t nobody got time for that!
“We shouldn’t let our laughter not be filled with joy. So if you’ve thrown your Always discreet, you can laugh without thinking about that. I realized I was spending too much time thinking, where am I going? What am I going to wear? Who gonna be there? How much laughing may or may not happen? Am I gonna be doing any extra long walking? I’m thinking of all these things based on bladder leaks,” Brown says.
“That’s holding us back from our joy. We gotta get back to the center of our joy, the enjoyment of life. And if something as simple as putting on an Always Discreet can give you that, do that so we can keep living a normal, joyful life. We deserve that. We’re worthy of that,” she continues.
Tabitha Brown shares her experience with perimenopause
Brown, 45, has been candid about her experience with perimenopause, which is defined as the approach to menopause when your ovaries gradually stop working. It can start in your 30s, but most women begin to experience it from 40-44. As your ovaries prepare to close up show, the body goes through natural changes that feel like a punishment for having a uterus.
“She (perimenopause) comes without notice, right? She doesn’t let you know that she has arrived,” she jokes. “And that comes with frequent urination, going to the bathroom all hours of the night, even during the day, whenever I’m on a plane, it’s like I’m constantly using the bathroom. Hot flashes or night sweats have been a part of it. Even your skin changes. So many things. Your sleep pattern changes. You wake up in the middle of the night, and you’re like, why am I up? I was sleeping great. And then you just wake up for no reason. It just happens,” she explains.
“But your body is transforming as you go through perimenopause, preparing for menopause. And a lot of women don’t talk about that, but I do. I like to have all the uncomfortable conversations to let women know, ‘Girl, we don’t have to be embarrassed. We don’t have to feel uncomfortable. We are in this thing together,'” she continues.
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