Source: Marsha B / Marsha B.
I’ve been buying flowers for myself as a form of self-care since 2019. It began when I started dating a woman who would buy me flowers whenever we saw each other. When that relationship ended, I decided to continue as an act of love and kindness for myself. I loved how I felt when I received them, and I wasn’t going to wait for someone else to generate that feeling. And so, for the last five years, I’d walk approximately two miles to my favorite flower shop to gift myself a beautiful floral arrangement.
Before that relationship, I only received flowers for special occasions and first dates. I’d have an overwhelming sense of excitement when someone handed me a bouquet. I saw the gesture as a thoughtful and intentional extension of love, and so the act of kindness always gave me the feels. Because flowers evoked such strong emotions out of me, I often gift them to people I love just because.
Source: Marsha B
I started with weekly bouquets from the local street vendors in my neighborhood. They were basic carnation arrangements with an occasional set of roses thrown in the mix. Every now and then, I’d go to the supermarket to explore their selections. But the more intentional I became, the more effort I put into selecting flowers that represented my mood, parts of myself I wanted to work on, and how I wanted to feel. If you’re wondering how buying a floral arrangement can dictate who you become, you’ll want to keep reading.
According to studies, buying flowers for yourself and others helps reduce stress
According to a study by University of North Florida professor Erin Largo-Wight, receiving flowers can significantly reduce stress. “Now it is both intuitive and scientifically known that adding elements of nature, like flowers, to interiors promotes well-being,” Largo-Wight says.
In the study, titled “The Impact of Flowers on Perceived Stress Among Women,” it was found that “The average reduction in stress among women who received and lived with flowers was minus-5.5 points on the perceived stress questionnaire, a significant statistical decrease in stress.”
Source: Marsha B / Marsha B.
Besides being a source of beauty in your home, the connection to nature can work volumes on your mood. For this reason alone, I have countless plants in my apartment and a fresh floral arrangement each week to help minimize daily stressors.
How intentionally selecting the colors of your flowers can help you work on yourself
Daily stressors can come from external sources but can also come to the surface when we are knocked off balance internally. When selecting flowers, I examine the unaligned chakras in my life. The seven chakras represent the various energy sources in the body that run from your head to the tip of your spine. Each energy source highlights a part of our being that connects to ourselves and the outer world. When the chakras are harmonious, you’re living a well-balanced life emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. But if one or more of the chakras are off-balanced, they can show up as fear, depression, low self-esteem, a lack of discernment, and even physical ailments.
For example, if I’m lacking self-confidence, I’d default to red roses for the root chakra. If I need help tapping into my creativity, I’d get sunflowers or yellow roses for the solar plexus chakra. If I need to work on forgiveness or opening my heart to love, I will get green flowers to address the heart chakra. If I’m struggling with assertiveness and speaking up for myself, I will get blue flowers for the throat chakra. Depending on what feels out of balance that week, I get a bouquet that helps me work on that chakra. And when it’s all good in the hood, and I’m feeling fine, I buy whatever resonates with my spirit.
I started to document my weekly flower runs to inspire others to pour into themselves as a form of self- care. It’s become a fun way of sharing the method to my floral selection, and my dedication to maintaining the peace that a beautiful floral arrangement brings into my home.
Do this for you and nobody else
I’ve shared the benefits of buying yourself flowers and gave you my strategy for aligning the colors with specific themes in life, but I want to leave you with an important story. One day, while picking out my floral arrangement, a man asked if I was buying the flowers for a loved one.
“No,” I responded. “I’m buying them for myself.”
“You don’t have a husband or boyfriend at home to buy them for you?” he asked.
“No, and I don’t need one to do that for me,” I replied.
As he began to mansplain why someone as beautiful as myself should have a man at home buying my flowers, I quickly cut him off to inform him that I don’t have to wait for anyone to show me love when I’m capable of doing it myself. Waiting for people to make me happy isn’t an option in my life. My happiness is my responsibility. I don’t buy myself flowers to prove a point; I do it because I’m deserving.
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